


Metaphysics

by moranth



Series: Alena Shepard [6]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-26
Updated: 2011-05-26
Packaged: 2017-10-19 19:30:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/204433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moranth/pseuds/moranth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two things that always lead to argument are politics and religion. A discussion about the latter drives a rift between Shepard and Thane Krios, with interesting results. Kinkmeme fill</p>
            </blockquote>





	Metaphysics

_Put your money where your mouth is_. It was her credo; the words she'd lived by for most of her thirty years—or thirty-two depending on how you looked at it. She'd never expected them to turn on her and bite her so soundly in the ass.

It had all started as a bit of innocent pillow talk. One of those esoteric conversations of no importance as these situations often did, though lying in bed after a romp did seem like an odd place to be discussing religion.

"So your religion is monotheistic," Thane asked lazily, as he draped an arm across her waist.  
In her post coital haze, it took Shepard's mind a second longer than usual to process the word he'd just thrown at her. She knew it was in her vocabulary, wedged in the back of her mind with the rest of the information that had become irrelevant to her daily life-like how to fry an egg or paint her toenails; things she knew how to do, but rarely called upon. Her face must have shown her confusion because he went on to explain.

"You worship only one God? He encompasses all aspects of life?"

She'd never been very religious, but she consulted that seldom used portion of her mind to try to answer his questions as best she could. Inwardly, she wished he would just check the extranet and let her sleep.

"Well, yeah. Actually it's more like one and a half," Shepard began, scratching her nails over her scalp as she did when she was thinking. She didn't know how they'd started this conversation in the first place, but now they were in the thick of it. He seemed fascinated by the aspects of human life, but she couldn't blame him. Hearing about Amonkira and Kalahira had been something of a culture shock when he'd explained them the first time around. With all of the topics they could come together on, it was easy to forget the large cultural gap between them, despite the fact that he was covered from head to toe in scales.

"Having three gods seems like it would get confusing." It was her turn to put him on the spot. "How do you know that the teachings of one wouldn't step on the toes of the others?"

Thane grinned, running his fingers through her hair after she had stopped. "They are very forgiving as long as proper tribute is paid."

"Oh? Like what?" Genuine interest overrode her ugly desire to tease him, and she waited expectantly for his answer.

He looked thoughtful a moment as his hand tangled further in her hair, gently massaging her scalp. "The lord of hunters demands that when I hunt—when I pursue my target-that I do so in his name, and if I'm successful, that make an offering for having received his blessing; the Goddess of Oceans requests thanks in the morning upon waking and that we beseech her to give us safe passage to the Sea if we should pass on while we sleep."

This all sounded very similar to other religions she had heard of. She vaguely recalled the request of offerings being a huge part of almost all earthbound religions at one point or another and the prayers sounded like those she had been brought up with and recited even now out of habit.

Though his explanation seemed relatively thorough, one divinity was conspicuously absent. "What about Arashu?" It seemed odd that he would omit the one he called upon the most, as a swear, as a prayer, in other moments…

He withdrew his fingers from her hair, and cleared his throat. "That's a bit more complicated."

"Oh, do go on." He'd had her squirming under his questions, now it was her turn and she wasn't going to let him off with an answer as simple as that.

Thane spoke slowly, taking careful measure of his words as they left his mouth. "Before, I told you that Arashu was the goddess of protection and motherhood." Shepard nodded. Her goldfish brain could vaguely recall something as poignant as that being said before, even if she couldn't remember the context.

"That's not her title in its entirety. She's also known as the Goddess of family, of fertility and virility."

"I see…" Not completely. "So what sort of tribute do you have to pay her?"

"Sometimes, the most pious among us pledge themselves to a deity, to take them as their patron and be slightly more faithful to them than others. In doing so, they must do certain things to appease them. I have taken Arashu as my patron. At the time, I had many things I needed to protect."

"Uh-huh." He was dancing around her question and he knew it. As she rolled over to give him her full attention, she thought she saw a slight darkening of the folds of his throat.

"Arashu asks that I… indulge in acts of 'carnality'. Though, I must admit, I've become rather lax in the last ten years or so."

"I see…" Shepard didn't see; she couldn't understand what that would entail, but she wasn't going to ask him to explain. The gears in her head worked painfully for a few moments until something clicked. A slow creeping horror prickled the back of her neck as everything finally clicked into place. "Oh… OH! So that means… what we just finished doing was in honor of Arashu?" She found herself unable to even speak the name of the act, now that she knew a God had been observing them in a private moment. Was that why he whispered her name so much?

"I suppose you could put it that way." He watched as she drew the sheets up to her neck, hiding from the eyes of the various deities. "This troubles you?"

"It doesn't." It did. "It's just different. In my parents' religion, what we just did isn't meant to be done until you're married or at least engaged."

A verdant brow plate twitched. "But you didn't seem to have a problem with it before."

"I didn't think about being watched by God before —Gods. Oh god." She buried her face in her hands, suddenly very conscious of their collective nudity.

"I take it you aren't considered very devout?" From anyone else, those words would have seemed condescending or accusatory; coming from him, they just sounded amused.

Since she'd struck out on her own, she hadn't been very faithful in adhering to the beliefs she been raised on, but sitting here with him, she suddenly felt her amount of faith was inadequate. All this talk of religion had brought old fears to the front of her mind, along with the threat of retribution. She knew she wasn't being a very good Christian, but she'd figured there were worse things she could be doing than sleeping with an alien out of wedlock.

"It's not that simple… There are a lot of gray areas that I know I've stepped in more than once. But for the most part, I try to be as good a person as I can and hope that the not so good things will be forgiven."

"And is this one of those gray areas? One of those things you need to be forgiven for?" He had his poker face on now. His voice was flat, lacking any inflection of any kind, his face held no expression.

Shit.

She wasn't sure if she'd offended him or not, but it was worth trying to backpedal before she dug herself into a deeper hole. "That's not what I meant. Things like shaking down people for leads, starting fights, drinking…" Not always in that order.

"Is anything you do looked upon favorably?" A note of worry settled into his tone.

"I like to think so."

A thick silence weighed over them. Neither of them spoke, the mood suddenly changing from comfortable and fuzzy to sharp awkwardness. Shepard pressed her hand against her forehead, shielding her from his gaze. She really wished she'd seen this conversation coming so that they could have avoided it altogether.

Thane sighed beside her, prying her hand from her eyes. "I do not wish to be the reason you are denied your final reward when you depart from this life. I would like to think that we'll see each other again."

Lord. The man really did have a way with words. Guilt settled over her as his words struck her to her core. If there was a better entreaty, she'd probably never get to hear it.

"Don't talk like that. No one's dying anytime soon." No one liked being reminded that the ones they loved would no longer be there, but in their situation, Death felt like an ever-looming specter rather than some far off concern.

"Death is an eventuality for everyone, siha. I… just want to be sure that when the time comes…"

"I'm sure He'd let some things slip on my end."

He shook his head. "I'm sure He wouldn't appreciate that you take so many liberties with the rules He set forth."

"But there's no getting around some things…"

She stared over at the fish to avoid the piercing gaze he fixed on her. Even if she couldn't see it, she could still feel it. He wasn't convinced in the slightest.

"Is there nothing you can do that would help you regain His favor?"

"You mean other than try to save civilization as we know it?" She tried not to sound bitter as he nodded thoughtfully. Suddenly, she remembered why she'd been deterred from keeping up with her religious teachings in the first place. "I guess I could try to avoid the seven deadly sins for a while."

He sat upright, a look of tentative horror coming over his face. His voice grave as he said, "Deadly sins?"

"They're just the big ones that you try to avoid. Committing them is possibly the worst offense."

"I see…"

"There's sloth, gluttony, greed, envy…" She waggled a finger as she went down the list, trying to keep track of the ones she'd already named. Those were the easy ones that she rarely indulged in. "Pride, wrath and lust, round up the list." The most dangerous of the group.

She'd always had a chip on her shoulder, and those around her knew she wasn't to be trifled with. Everyone indulged in a little bit of self-appreciation now and then, and lust? That was just another one of those things that she'd recently started to see the merits of.

That would probably be the hardest to abstain from, all things considered, and the thing she wanted to give up least. Thane hadn't been her first lover, but he certainly might be her last. He was on her mind incessantly. An idle thought didn't pass through her mind that didn't somehow turn to him and the time they spent together. She wasn't sure he understood the gravity of what he was asking, but then again, he never asked for much. If he mentioned it at all, it must have really meant something to him.

Shepard sighed. The things one did for love. "How long do you want me to try this?"

"How long seems fair?"

"Not doing this seems pretty fair to me."

"Siha," he said, his tone full of reproach.

"A week sounds fair," she conceded. She'd never been good at debating, and something told her he'd kick her butt at it. "But once it's up, if that doesn't work, we don't talk about this again. No more dying, no more worrying about what comes after this."

"That sounds adequate, but you have to give it an honest effort."

"I will, if you will."

He cocked his head at her quizzically, as if to show he didn't understand. She'd seen that trick enough times before, and she wasn't falling for it now.

She wasn't going to suffer through this alone. "If I have to try to be a better disciple, then so do you."

"It's not as appealing as it sounds, but I do try to adhere to what Arashu wishes of me as often as I can."

She snorted derisively. "I'll bet. You said yourself that you weren't as faithful as you could be, so why not? You can think of it as a sort of bonding… thing. The couple that suffers together, stays together."

He folded his hands neatly in his lap in a show of his annoyance. He fixed her with a hard stare as a grin twitched the corner of her mouth. "I suppose it's only fair."

~~~*V*~~~

There wasn't a chance in Hell Shepard was going to last the week. Zero. Zilch. That drell wasn't playing fair.

At first, she'd actually felt good about her chances. The bit of guilt their conversation had stirred up had quieted down at the idea that she was giving it an honest effort to being more devout, even if it was in a decidedly minor way, and under duress.

She'd thought she had it all under control. She normally tried to be a decent person, and some of the sins were a cinch to avoid. Gluttony had never been a problem for her, and she wasn't going to choose now to make it one. As for greed, she'd always been a woman of simple taste. She hardly wanted for anything other than what she needed, and whoever was footing the bill for her missions at the time took care of that.

It wasn't until Thane strolled through her door the next day that she thought she might have a problem on her hands.

He'd insisted that if he was going to do this properly, he'd need more privacy than was available in his quarters in Life Support. He told her that he would be staying here for the duration, sleeping on the couch. She hadn't asked what the rites he had to conduct entailed, but as soon as he started stripping, she'd wished she had. Before she knew, it his coat and vest were removed and neatly folded on the couch. He'd started to unfasten his pants when she stopped him.

"Hold it!" She sounded shrill a hand covering her eyes, trying to avoid the temptation of staring at his nakedness.

"Part of the ritual requires that I disrobe to—"

"Not in here, you don't." The protest felt unnatural coming from her lips, and she hoped she'd never have to give it again. She was starting to hate this damn arrangement already.

She felt his warm hand cover hers as he gently uncovered her eyes. A patient smile curved his lips as he met her gaze with his own. "The ritual requires that I disrobe to keep as little between Arashu and myself as possible." She opened her mouth to protest, but he pressed on. "However, I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing given our current… circumstances."  
He kissed her forehead softly, before that slow smile reemerged. When she felt her heart rate quicken, she knew she was in trouble.

When he released her hand and stepped away, his pants had been removed, and in their place was a pair of shorts that didn't leave much to the imagination, though she'd seen it all before. She didn't know when he'd taken off his pants, where they had gone, or even where the shorts had come from, as she knew him to "go commando", but she thought her ignorance of these matters was for the best.

Thane turned from her, squatting down on the hard cabin floor as he prepared his ritual. His legs folded underneath him, skilled hands resting atop toned, green thighs. He bowed his head, closed his eyes.

She took that as her cue to leave him to it as she scrambled up to her desk. She didn't want to disturb him, and the temptation to touch him was far too strong.

She sat at her desk with the intention of catching up on her backlog of paperwork, but she found herself… distracted. Apparently, part of his religious practices involved singing. The song was wordless as far as she could tell, but it seemed to call upon every note within the drell vocal range she could hear and some she couldn't.

She watched as he seemed to lose himself in it, finding herself jealous of his faith. That he had something that moved him so much, while she didn't seemed unfair. Alright _, I can do this_ , she thought as she stared at the wealth of messages on her terminal. Most were from Miranda. All were marked urgent.

As she opened up the first message, her attention was ripped away by what she saw coming at her at about eye level. The ritual was apparently more involved than she could see from her vantage point, because when Thane ascended the stairs, he was sporting more than an eyeful. His erection bobbed with each step, and she felt it draw in more and more of her attention.  
If she'd been drinking anything, it would have ended up all over her screen.

Her eyes tracked him as he walked by seemingly unencumbered by his apparent "condition" or the attention it was getting him. The bathroom door shut behind him with a click, and Shepard blew out a shaky breath.

She didn't there was any way this would end well.

~~~*V*~~~

Shepard had never been so productive in her life. Not only had she plowed through the mountain of reports, but she'd done it all working from a datapad while taking out her frustrations on the treadmill installed in the cargo hold. There was another sin— sloth— shot down by multitasking. It was those last four she was having an issue with right now.

Her feet moving steadily on the treadmill all but banished thoughts of what she'd seen in her quarters from her mind. There were some things you never forgot, no matter the type of memory. She'd seen Thane undressed before, on more than one occasion, but this time…

Over the last few weeks, her mind had become hardwired to associate "naked drell" with imminent sex. Usually, that wouldn't have been a terrible arrangement, with this experiment underway, it bordered on torture.

To say that she'd become hot and bothered would be an understatement. From the first show of skin, her mind went through a catalog of things she wanted to do to him right then and there. Her few remaining ounces of will were what stood between her pride and her satisfaction. The sudden, built up energy needed an outlet and rather than risk making a slip, she took herself out of the situation altogether. It would look suspicious for the commander to be nervously pacing up and down the C.I.C., so she headed to the makeshift gym in the bowels of the Normandy.

The rec area had been full when she'd arrived, but that had quickly changed. Before she knew what she was doing, she'd bullied a crewman off one of the treadmills leading her to where she was now. She sighed as her tentative control over wrath, went out the window. She wasn't herself. She'd make it up to them as soon as they had time for another shore leave.

With her reports completed, filed and organized in a way that resembled obsessive-compulsion, it came as no surprise that her thoughts started to wander back to the drell and their arrangement. She'd succeeded in avoiding gluttony, greed and envy. Sloth had been taken out, but with the cards stacked against her, she had given into the other three. It was no surprise that she'd failed this trial with flying colors, but that brought her around to why she was doing this in the first place.

She had come to terms with the type of person she had become: willful, sarcastic, sometimes hard, but never cruel. She did things to try to help people without asking for anything in return. Her motives were virtuous most of the time. She wasn't trying to tote her own righteousness, but that's just who she was. And she was okay with that.

If she was going to Hell, there were a lot worse things that could send her there, but she liked to think the good balanced those out. Even if they didn't, one week—one year wasn't going to change that. And she was also okay with that; she just had to get Thane to be.

~~~*V*~~~

Shepard stood outside of her door, staring at it. She wasn't the negotiating sort, so she had no idea of how to convince him of her position. She knew, from experience, that telling someone not to worry always made them do the opposite. The best she could do was just come out and tell him the conclusion regarding the fate of her soul that she'd come to. The direct approach hadn't always served her well in the past, but right now, it was all she had.

Gritting her teeth, she opened the door.

The room looked deserted and she felt both relief and disappointment. She'd wanted to get this out of the way as soon as possible, but if he looked anything like the last time she saw him, she wasn't sure she would be able to get through her spiel. "Thane?"

No answer.

Sweat trickled down her neck, reminding her of the shower she desperately needed. A quick one and she'd go find him and get this whole thing straightened out.

Chucking her damp workout gear into the laundry chute, she slung a fresh towel over her shoulder and opened the bathroom door.

Standing under a steady stream from the showerhead was the missing drell in question just the way some God had made him. Shepard wasn't about to question which God was laying claim to the job, she was just enjoying the work.

The tiles of the shower were pressed against his back, his head slightly bowed, his lips moving in some sort of silent incantation. The whole scene would have seemed reverent if not for what he was doing with his hands.

They were busy, moving over his torso in a way that seemed vaguely familiar. He smoothed over his thighs before raking his nails across them. They slid up to his hips and over his taunt belly. Shepard as fixed on the spot. She felt like she was intruding on his rite or whatever this was, but she her legs wouldn't listen to her. It was one thing for him to walk around half naked, this was something else altogether. A hand swept over his chest, while the other took his hardened length in his grasp. The muscles of his chest heaved with each caress. He bit into his lip almost as deeply as she was biting hers. He raked the fingers of his free hand across his belly and down his thighs, and his hips convulsed, his breath quickened.

It was like putting a plate of food in front of a starving woman, and she was suddenly feeling famished. His eyes opened and he looked directly at her. A small smile crept across his lips as he extended his free hand to her.

That was all she needed.

She wasted no time in joining him under the cool water. She forced him back against the wall and crushed his lips in a kiss.

She brushed his hand aside and took over, working him between slim fingers. A hiss of breath escaped him as he nipped at her neck. His now free hands glided over now slick human skin, traveling over her shoulders and back, down further leaving hot trails across her waist. He reached her ass and gave it a firm squeeze that made her cry out. He gripped her thighs and in a show of strength, hoisted her up against him, and she responded by draping herself around him, her legs around his hips, her arms around his neck. With finesse he changed their positions, pressing her into the chilled wall.

There were no words as she shifted against him, urging him to give her the relief they both sought. As he entered her, her synapses fired in a way they'd never had before. She rode him for all he was willing to give and more. Their voices echoed in the small space long after the water had been stopped by the shower's timer.

It wasn't long before Shepard felt all the tension and stress leave her body, in what might have been the most satisfying climax she'd ever had. Thane gripped her hips tightly as he followed after her, with a last, shuddering thrust.

They slid down to the floor, both of them struggling to catch their breath. Shepard rested against his chest as Thane ran his fingers through her damp hair.

"I guess I failed," she muttered unhappily, unable to even look at him. She was firm in her beliefs, but she couldn't shake the nagging feeling that she'd let him down. She hadn't even lasted the day.

His chest rumbled with laughter before he placed a kiss on her forehead. "We both failed."

She craned her neck to look up at him, then around them at their surroundings. "Looks like you've done your duty to me."

He chuckled again. "Yes, but that was merely my second time of the day. Arashu would have me do that five more times today. A feat I've not accomplished for some time." He looked a bit sheepish with the admission, and Shepard bit back a laugh of her own.

"I've had some time to clear my head," he continued, "and you were right. The things that we do don't always fall into one category or another. You've done a great deal of good for many people, and I don't believe that any divine being would overlook all of that for your few indiscretions."

He'd pretty much summed up everything she'd planned to say when she came up here, but more eloquently than she would have been able to manage. She simply nodded, having nothing to add to his sentiment.

A contented hum ebbed from his as they lay on the cold shower floor, and Shepard knew, without a doubt that nothing this simple and good could possibly be wrong.


End file.
